Friday, September 21, 2018

Living with Loneliness

For the first time in years, I have been experiencing a lot of loneliness.  My best friend and fiance recently passed away after a long bout with cancer.  Before that I was married for 33 years and raised three wonderful children.  So this is really the first time I have EVER lived alone.  That sounds so crazy in today's world where so many people wait until they are older to get married.  They have time to experience what living alone feels like.

Some days I really like being alone.  I enjoy the solitude and the quiet.  I work around my house and yard.  I catch up on my writing.  I read.  I study my Bible.  But some days being alone turns to loneliness and I feel lost.  I yearn for human contact...a hug, a hand on mine, a conversation, or just sitting in silent company with someone enjoying a cup of coffee.  

In being alone I have discovered a lot of things about myself. 

 -The television can be my worst enemy.  It can be much to easy to turn into a couch potato, binge-watching version of someone I really don't want to be.  So I try and limit that.

-I try and keep junk food out of the house,.  I am an emotional eater, so loneliness and junk food are not a good combination.,

-I really don't like to cook...at least for one person.  Its much easier to open a can of soup or make a salad.

-I do not like self-pity.  If I find myself feeling sorry for myself, I get up and do something or go help someone else.  Taking my daughter to her radiation and chemotherapy each day helps put things in perspective for me.

-I am not a quitter.  I absolutely refuse to give in to loneliness.  I have learned to recognize it and accept it.  But I will not be defeated by it.  I recently joined a woman's Bible study group.  I meet some friends for lunch from time to time.  I go to church, and am being more pro-active about meeting people.  I have also become friends with some people in my neighborhood.

This is a new season of life that I am experiencing and God is showing me new things about myself.  I keep having a sense that God is calling me to something but I am not quite sure what that is yet.  I am excited to find out what it might be.  

2 comments:

  1. Living alone is sometimes hard to get used too. Myself I like it. But I still get lonely

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I know how you feel. It is the same with me. I guess, as with anything, there are both good and bad aspects to it...:)

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