Choose Life

One of the most difficult and controversial topics of our time is abortion.  It affects everything from what political party we choose to what church (if any) we attend.  There are Christians and non-Christians on both sides of the issue, and everyone has their case ready to debate at a moment's notice.

I have been on both sides of the debate during my lifetime for different reasons.  But God always brings me back to the side of pro-life.  This isn't to say I am not pro-choice as well.  I just happen to believe that those choices should be made to prevent an abortion.  Some of these choices are:

Abstinance
Adoption

These are all choices that can be made as opposed to killing an unborn child.  Are these choices easy?  Absolutely not.  Abstinance means using self-control.  Adoption means the heartbreak of saying goodbye to a child that you nurture in the womb for nine months.  Being a mother, however, is filled with acts of unselfish, unconditional love.  Giving your child life is the first of these, and even if it is the last thing you do, you can know you did the best for your child.

Then there are the other questions revolving around pregnancies that are the result of rape or incest.  I have to admit I struggled with this one for a long time.  Still, God speaks to me and says, "All life is a gift from God".  Who are we to rip this life away when God placed it there?

God is the only true Light in this dark world we live in.  He brings joy where there is despair...hope where there is hopelessness...laughter where there are tears...goodness where there is evil.  Perhaps a baby conceived from an evil act is God's way of bringing light and love into a horrible situation.


"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous...and how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day passed.

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God!
They are innumerable!"    Psalm 139: 13-17

When I read this passage from the Bible, my heart feels the love that God has for me, and for every innocent child that is conceived and then tragically eliminated.  This is why my heart breaks for these tiny victims.  There are so many.  The numbers are absolutely staggering, and America is complicit in this mass genocide.

My heart also breaks for the mothers who are often led to make this decision without having all of the information regarding abortion or all of the information regarding other alternatives.  Those who live with having committed abortion are often left with emotional scars that are difficult to heal.  I would say to the women who have had abortions....God loves you.  And God will forgive you as well if you but confess and ask him.  He is merciful and loving in ways that we cannot even comprehend.

To those who consider themselves to be pro-choice, I would respectfully ask you to become more informed.  Very often we latch onto a cause without all of the information.  To anyone who is currently considering having an abortion, I would beg you to reconsider.  The life you carry inside is your child put there by God for a reason. The child you abort

is the same child who will one day love you. You have choices other than killing your child.  There is help for you.

A Biblical View of the Immigration Caravan Heading our Way

As a Christian, I have been studying God's word regarding our current situation involving a caravan of illegal immigrants coming to America.  There are currently around 7000 of them marching toward the border to come into America.  The compassionate side of myself tells me that it is our responsibility to care for them.  But is that really the case?  And does caring for them have to mean allowing them to come into our country illegally?

The Bible says "No".  “Be subject for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God” (1 Peter 2:13–16).  In other words, we are to obey the laws of our land.  They are there for our protection.

Let's forget the idea that this caravan might be politically motivated and might be sponsered by a political party as a mean of gaining votes in November's election.

Let's forget how this caravan curiously appeared only a couple of weeks before the November election.

Let's forget the fact that there might be some bad guys in the caravan who mean to do us harm.

Let's forget that members of the caravan thought it was a good idea to burn the American flag and fly their own flag as they march toward our border with the purpose of entering (invading?)

Let's forget the fact that we have nowhere to put all of these people or means to take care of them.

Let's forget how other countries who have opened their borders have been plagued with crime, poverty, homelessness, and terrorism.

Let's forget about the jobs Americans will lose because there will be illegals willing to work for much less.

Let's remember this.  We are a sovereign nation with every right to protect and secure our borders.  It is the number one job of the President of the United States to keep our country safe.  Anyone crossing over that border illegally is committing a crime...regardless of their situation.  Committing a crime for a good cause does not make it right or a wise decision. If that were the case, a homeless man could just go rob a bank to feed his family.  But he can't.  Why?  Because there are boundaries.  There are laws.

God tells us to be both wise and discerning.  

Just imagine what will happen if we allow a mass of 7000 illegals to barge across our border.  Where will they go?  Are you going to open your homes to them?  Or leave your doors unlocked so they can enter?  No...because boundaries are IMPORTANT.  They help keep us safe. 

Also, if they are allowed to enter, more will follow....LOTS more.  We will become the country of no borders who lets anyone in.  We will no longer be safe. Our country will no longer be the same. 

Something else to consider is the fact that these illegals who cross over will not be safe either.  They will be vulnerable to all kinds of criminal elements who will try and use them for their own criminal purposes such as drug running or gangs.  The children will be vulnerable to those who try and hurt children thru human trafficking or child pornography.    These people will be more vulnerable because they will not have the safeguards in place that we, as American citizens have.

When America says no to open borders, it does not mean we are evil or inhumane.  It means we are trying to keep our country safe, which is our right.  Nor does it mean that we cannot help these people in other ways.  We can donate money.  We can boycott.  We can do other things that are instrumental for change that is needed in these other countries.  We can pray. We can support humanitarian efforts.

We can work to help those who would seek to come to America through legal channels.  There IS a pathway to America.  All a person must do is take the legal pathway. 

 Photo taken by Cheryl Williams 

The Greatest Gift You Will Ever Receive

Today I have been really thinking about God and how much He loves us.  It really is amazing when you think about it.

First of all, His reason for creating us was to be in relationship with us.  Isn't that awesome?  The God of the universe wants to spend time with us.  He wants intimacy with us.  He wants to know everything about us...including our flaws.  And the truth is that He DOES know everything about us...and LOVES US ANYWAY.  The Bible says that "Nothing can separate us from the love of God."...Romans 8:31-39.

Still, despite the fact that God loves us unconditionally, so many of us refuse to accept that precious gift.  Instead, we search for other ways to fill our emptiness.  Like the song, "Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places"...that is exactly what we do.  The result is always the same:  nothing satisfies.  Only God can fill the deepest longing of our hearts.

God loved us so much that He sent His only son to die on the cross for our sins.  That's right.  Jesus took our punishment for every sin we have ever committed.  He died a horrific death on a cross after being tortured and beaten.  The good news is that three days later he arose from the dead.  He ascended into Heaven, showing us that He conquered death on our behalf.  Because of this, we all have been graced with the incredible gift of salvation through Jesus Christ.  All we have to do is acknowledge that Jesus is the son of God and that he died on the cross for our sins.  When we ask forgiveness for our sins and accept Jesus into our hearts, we are saved.  We automatically become adopted as sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.  We become filled with the Holy Spirit and our lives will never be the same.

We don't have to earn our way into Heaven.  There are no amount of good deeds we can do on this earth that will gain us entry into Heaven.  It's impossible.  That is why God gives us this incredible gift.  But like any gift, we must first accept it before it is truly ours.

Have you given your life to Jesus Christ?  If not, now is the time.  Just remember that it is not a prayer to be prayed lightly.  Really mean what you pray.

-Pray a prayer of acknowledgement that Jesus is God in the flesh, born of the Virgin Mary; that He died on the cross for your sins, rose on the third day, and ascended into Heaven.

-Confess your sins to God, and ask for forgiveness.

-Ask the Lord to come into your heart, and save you from your sins.

After you pray, accept the greatest gift you will ever receive...the gift of eternal life.  Your life will become a true adventure as you begin your walk with Jesus Christ.

                                                        Photo by Cheryl A. Williams

The Number One Reason You Should Vote in November

I just got through mailing a care package to my son who is serving overseas in the U.S. Navy.  I am so very proud of him and the sacrifice he is making for our country.  He, along with thousands of men and women sacrifice daily to see that our freedoms remain intact.  For my son, he is on a battleship in a dangerous part of the world.  He and his wife have an 18 month old son and are expecting a baby girl any day now.  There is a high probability that he will not be there for the birth of his daughter.  He has already been away for months.  This is sacrifice.  It is also a sacrifice for his little family.  But he is only one of thousands going through the same thing for our country.

It makes me sad to see our country so torn apart when so many servicemen and women are giving so much to keep our freedoms intact.  Civility seems to have disappeared by the wayside.  We cannot even seem to have a conversation anymore.  The left blames Trump.  The right blames the radical left. Blacks blame whites.  Whites blame blacks. In the middle of all of the blaming and shaming, our country is falling apart.  And that is very sad because we are ALL Americans.

The truth is:  We are ALL to blame.  We act like children on a playground...all the way from President Trump down to the everyday citizen.  What we seem to fail to realize is that in the middle of all that is wrong with our country there is a lot that is right.  But we all hold on so tightly to what we believe that we block our reasoning and our view.  Those on the left point fingers at Trump's tweets but fail to recognize any good he has done.  The right points fingers as well, failing to recognize any good that the other side has to offer.  We have become so closed minded that we automatically think of a rebuttal or a comeback rather than actually consider another point of view.


Growth will never occur in a society that is closed-minded and divided.  Still, our servicemen and women fight for us.  Perhaps it is time for us to appreciate that...truly appreciate it.

Vote in November.  That is one of our most basic rights.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Photo by Cheryl Williams

What Do You Hunger For?

One of my favorite songs is "Hunger" by Florence and the Machines.  One of the lines that keeps repeating in the song is "We all have a hunger".  Florence says the lyrics were "written in an effort to understand the ways I looked for love in things that were not love."

How many of us do that?  I dare say all of us do or have at some point in our lives looked for love in things that "were not love"....things such as money, possessions, work, drugs, food, alcohol, sex, gambling, approval.  We search for things to fill the brokenness we all have inside.  

This world is filled with pain and suffering, and it is impossible to escape completely.  Even people who seem to "have it made" will at some point have pain in their lives.  Friends may betray..  Loved ones will pass away.  The list goes on and on.

It can be easy to escape the pain.  This world is filled with all manner of means to escape rather than deal with the pain.  Those things, however, are mere band aids that only cover the wound, but never heal. The fix is temporary at best.  

The good news is that real love will heal and satisfy your hunger.  Real love, however, is not found in relationships or the perfect home or the perfect job.  It is not found in any material possession or drug.  It is not found in comfort food.  
                                                                                                
Perfect love is found in God.  "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is now made perfect in love." ~ 1 John 4:16-18

Yes, Jesus is the ONLY fix for the hunger in your soul.  Nothing else works. Why not end your search now and fill yourself with God's perfect love?  You will not regret it.

My "Me Too" Story

I've been doing a lot of thinking this week about women and sexual abuse in light of the Brett Kavanaugh hearing as well as the "Me Too" movement.  My thoughts have taken me on a painful journey back into my own life to the times that I was victimized. 

The first time I remember being victimized was in the 8th grade.  During the summer before I started 8th grade, my body started changing.  I was the first girl in my class to develop breasts.  I was mortified and tried to think of ways to hide them but it was an impossible task.  I remember sitting in Science class one day.  We had assigned seats and my seat was in the back of the room.  I was pretty much surrounded by boys but didn't really think much about it.  On this particular day, the teacher put on a filmstrip for us to watch.  He cut the lights and left the room.  Immediately hands started groping me from in front, behind, and the sides.  I felt hands on my breasts, my legs... just grabbing, grabbing.  I was smacking hands away, telling them to stop it and the class was laughing at me.

The teacher must have heard the commotion because he came back in and asked what was going on.  I told him with tears streaming down.  He chastised the boys and moved me to the front of the class right in front of his desk.  Several times I caught him staring at my breasts or trying to look up my skirt.  I felt helpless and was filled with shame.

The next incident happened that same year.  We were practicing for a play/talent show up on the stage in the auditorium.  The teacher left us for a few moments to go and get something from the supply closet.  Suddenly the lights went out. Hands were on me and I was pushed to the floor.  I was kicking and crying out.  It was only a few minutes but it seemed like hours.I remember feeling so scared.  The lights came back on and the boys dispersed.  I told the teacher what happened.  He chuckled and said "Boys will be boys".  That was the end of it.  They received no consequences.

Not long after this, the sexual abuse started at home.  It is still too painful to really talk about.When someone you love and trust with all of your heart starts abusing you, it takes a toll that is really indescribable.  But it continued for 6 years until I left home at the age of 18.  I was always the quiet, shy child in our home...the perfect victim.  I was the peacemaker as well, so the last thing I wanted to do was cause a divorce or cause someone to get arrested in my family.  Besides, deep down I thought I must be bringing all of it on myself with my newly developing body.  I began reading my Bible for comfort and hope.  I found Psalms to be particularly comforting.  I never felt that God had left me.  I always felt his presence protecting me ... even during the abuse.  I always had a feeling I would be able to use the abuse for good one day and help others who were suffering the same. So for most of those years it remained a secret other than a few that I confided in.

I did learn, however, to escape during the actual abuse.  I learned how to leave my body and go to a peaceful place.  For me, it was always the ocean.  As unwanted touches were invading me, I was walking on the beach.  I could feel the breeze.  I could hear the seagulls and smell the saltwater.  I could hear children laughing as they were building their sandcastles.  This escape is what got me through those 6 years.

I remember times where I thought of running away, but the fear of being alone in a strange place was greater than the fear of what I had come to face each day. Neither did I want to leave my little sister for fear the same thing would happen to her.  Other times I became so angry I wanted to kill my abuser and even tried to think of ways to do it.

But I survived until I turned 18 and left home to go to college.  I felt free.  Little did I know that I was anything but free.  The scars ran deep and would affect me for the rest of my life in ways I would never have imagined. I have a hole in my heart that is still trying to mend.

Through all of the incidents I described, I don't remember a lot of details.  I mostly remember what I felt.  I felt fear, shame, anger, guilt.  In the attacks that happened at school, I don't remember the people who did it.  I just remember they sat close to me in the classroom and were helping set up the play/talent show in the auditorium.  I do remember the teacher.  In the case of the abuse at home, I remember well the abuser but very little details about the abuse itself other than the feelings.  I guess part of this is because I would escape in my mind when it happened.  I remember feeling helpless, scared, angry, and filled with so much shame.  I felt abnormal.  I felt like some kind of freak.  More than anything I wanted to feel normal.  Feeling normal, however, was impossible because it affected me in every area of my life from having friends over to being hypervigilant about never being left alone with the abuser.

As for the Kavanaugh hearings, was Christine Blasey Ford telling the truth?  Time will tell.  I felt there was truth in her story but felt there was a lot that made no sense.  I also felt there was truth in his story.  Perhaps there is a grain of truth in both of their stories. 

When I think of those boys pushing me to the ground and touching me all over, I don't think they wanted to rape me.  But I was still scared because I still felt helpless just like I would have if they wanted to rape me.  They were laughing just as Ford said her attacker was doing.  Perhaps, if Brett Kavanaugh did push her onto the bed laughing, there was no intent on rape.  Perhaps it was just a drunk acting like a power hungry idiot.  Perhaps the truth lies in there somewhere.  Hopefully the FBI will get to the truth.  I hate to see lives ruined for no reason.  I would also hate to think that either political party would use anyone to suit their own selfish agendas.

My final word on this is to anyone who is currently suffering sexual abuse.  It is NOT your fault.  You are a victim, plain and simple.  Nobody has the right to touch your body if you do not want it touched.  Nobody has the right to force you to do anything against your wishes.  There is no manner of dress or body type that serves as an excuse for anyone to sexually assault you.  Do not be afraid to report your abuse.  The longer you keep your secret, the more it will harm you.  By keeping it a secret you allow your abuser to continue to abuse you.  Own your power and report it.  It will be the greatest gift you ever give to yourself.

I know...

Living with Loneliness

For the first time in years, I have been experiencing a lot of loneliness.  My best friend and fiance recently passed away after a long bout with cancer.  Before that I was married for 33 years and raised three wonderful children.  So this is really the first time I have EVER lived alone.  That sounds so crazy in today's world where so many people wait until they are older to get married.  They have time to experience what living alone feels like.

Some days I really like being alone.  I enjoy the solitude and the quiet.  I work around my house and yard.  I catch up on my writing.  I read.  I study my Bible.  But some days being alone turns to loneliness and I feel lost.  I yearn for human contact...a hug, a hand on mine, a conversation, or just sitting in silent company with someone enjoying a cup of coffee.  

In being alone I have discovered a lot of things about myself. 

 -The television can be my worst enemy.  It can be much to easy to turn into a couch potato, binge-watching version of someone I really don't want to be.  So I try and limit that.

-I try and keep junk food out of the house,.  I am an emotional eater, so loneliness and junk food are not a good combination.,

-I really don't like to cook...at least for one person.  Its much easier to open a can of soup or make a salad.

-I do not like self-pity.  If I find myself feeling sorry for myself, I get up and do something or go help someone else.  Taking my daughter to her radiation and chemotherapy each day helps put things in perspective for me.

-I am not a quitter.  I absolutely refuse to give in to loneliness.  I have learned to recognize it and accept it.  But I will not be defeated by it.  I recently joined a woman's Bible study group.  I meet some friends for lunch from time to time.  I go to church, and am being more pro-active about meeting people.  I have also become friends with some people in my neighborhood.

This is a new season of life that I am experiencing and God is showing me new things about myself.  I keep having a sense that God is calling me to something but I am not quite sure what that is yet.  I am excited to find out what it might be.  

The Three Church Experiment

For the past few weeks I have been visiting different churches because I am looking for one closer to my home.  During this process, I have made some discoveries that not only helped me see where the church needs some improvement but also where I need to make some improvements on my own.

All of the churches I went to had a few things in common.  Great  music and great inspiring sermons.  There seemed to be a common theme recently about laying shame by the wayside and realizing  your value as a child of God.  Great stuff.

The problem came in the actual welcoming process within the congregation.  I, as an avid, yet shy churchgoer, felt very intimidated at walking into a new church alone.  I did not know one person there.  In the first church I stood in the lobby for about 10 minutes looking completely lost and alone.  I didn't even know where to go for the service.  Most people were standing around in the little cliques drinking coffee.  Some would glance my way, but quickly turn back to what they were doing.  I finally found the sanctuary and went in and sat down.  The little cliques were also congregated in the sanctuary and continued talking without so much as acknowledging me.  Being the shy person I am, I decided it was my fault and I should just go up and try and strike up a conversation with someone after church, but by that time people seemed in a rush to leave and go home.  So I just left too.

The second church I went to was great in every way.  I went in a bit skeptical because it is a megachurch with a very well known and controversial pastor.  But from the second my car pulled onto the property, I felt acknowledged, recognized, and loved.  They gave me VIP parking.  A volunteer came right up to me and welcomed me, asking if I needed prayer for anything as I stood in the long line just to get in. We prayed together about my daughter who has cancer of the brain stem.  I was also given a card to return to the welcome booth after the service and get a free t-shirt.  So many people welcomed me, full of smiles, and I felt genuine love from them.  I could tell it was not an act reserved for Sundays.  A volunteer also led me to a seat near the front of the church since it was my first time.  The church was filled with so much spirit and I could feel the love of Christ.  After the service, I took my card to the guest booth and a group of volunteers prayed with me again, and I got a free T-shirt as well.  I felt at home the entire time.

The third church I went to was much the same as the first.  I went in, not knowing where to go.  I had read online that if you are a first-timer to go by the Welcome Booth and someone would help me by showing me around, introducing me to people, and finding a seat.  I went to the Welcome Booth and people were in little cliques talking about the Panther game.  I stood there, feeling so alone while the people at the booth just kept talking.  Theyfinally saw me but did not acknowledge me until I said, "Hi.  This is my first time.  I'm not sure where to go."  At that point one of them said "Welcome", and pointed to the santuary, telling me they tend to start the service late.  I looked in the sanctuary and nobody was in there yet, so I went to the restroom to kill time.  When I came out I went into the santuary.  It was a great uplifting service about how in a church we should be able to be open, honest, real, and safe with one another.  During the service, new people were to fill out a card, take it to the welcome booth and get a little gift bag.  I turned in my card to the booth,, but no gift bag was offered.  Still, no conversation with anyone.

My point is this.  How are we, as a church, supposed to draw in new people if we refuse to welcome them?  It is so intimidating to go to a new church, even for a regular churchgoer.  I can't even begin to think what a person new to church would have thought had he been in my shoes.  When a person walks into a church, he is looking for something.  He is looking not only for God, but for fellowship, love, community, acceptance, direction. We cannot just assume that the person will make the first move.


I include myself in this.  The church I regularly attend is large and I have been going for years.  It is easy to get lost in the crowd.  I only know a handful of people myself.  Still, I am guilty of looking the other way when I see someone standing in the lobby looking lost.  This has to stop, and I am making up my mind to be more welcoming.  As a church, we could make a difference in so many lives if we would all do this.  We are the face of Jesus to anyone who walks into  our church.

What is Your Purpose in Life?

Photo by Cheryl Williams

I believe we all struggle at times
with finding a purpose in our lives.  I do believe that our main purpose for being on this earth is to share God's love with everyone we meet, regardless of race, sex, financial or social status, sexual orientation...regardless of whatever struggles a person is going through in their lives.  After all, we all struggle with something.  Pointing fingers at anyone else is almost comical to me because I am so full of my own struggles. Why point fingers at a drug addict when I have an addiction myself?  Rather than turning to alcohol or drugs in my loneliness and pain, I tend to turn to a bag of chips.  Is my addiction less "sinful" than someone else's addiction?  No.  Is my addiction less sinful than that of someone who chooses to have an affair or gamble or shop excessively?  No.  Because we are both using something or someone other than God to fill the emptiness inside.

Our purpose is simple.  Love one another.  Be a servant to one another.  In other words, be like Jesus.  This is not easy, to be sure.  After all, Jesus was perfect.  But we must remember that his perfection enabled Him to love us regardless of what we are.  Just think about it.  He is the only one who truly knows who we are.  We cannot hide from him.  No facade we may present to the world can fool the Lord.  He knows every dirty secret, every hateful thought, every selfish desire....and STILL chooses us to be His own.  What love and grace!  What mercy He bestows on us each and every day.  As we draw near and get to know the Lord, He draws nearer to us.

We may not understand everything there is to know about God...and that's okay.  We may not understand why someone we love dies or why a beloved child gets a terminal illness or why we lose our job. But we must trust in God's plan and know that everything works together for good if we love and trust in Him.  We don't always see the big picture, but God does.  He protects us in ways that we cannot even imagine...in ways that we may never see. 

Right now this world is hurting.  This world needs more people whose purpose is to be like Jesus...to love one another and serve one another.  Can you imagine a world like that?  It begins with each and every one of us as we draw nearer to our Heavenly Father.

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."   Romans 5:8

"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him."    1 John 4:16

I Am Not a Strong Woman

I have a lot of people tell me what a strong woman I am.  After all, I've been through a lot and I'm still standing.  I was sexually molested repeatedly for the majority of my teenage years.  I lost my little baby Maryanna Hope Williams when I was 8 months pregnant, having to go through labor and delivery knowing she had already died inside of me.  One of my children was the victim of a horrible crime as a young teen.  I lived with a husband I loved very much but who was bi-polar and refused medication for 30 years.  During this time, my life was like being on one very long roller coaster. His disease eventually killed him when it caused him to lose all hope. I did find love again and healing from those old wounds. However,  recently, my love and best friend passed away after a long and hard fought battle with cancer. A  couple of weeks after this, I found out that my sweet 33 year old daughter has inoperable cancer of the brain stem. 

Am I a strong woman?  No.  Any strength that I have comes solely from God working and living within me.  He has been with me through every heartbreak, every fear, every battle I have fought.  He has dried every tear and wrapped his arms around me in such a way that only a Heavenly Father could. Each day He is with me, sending me little signs that he is watching out for me.  I know that wherever I go, He is always walking ahead of me.  I am never alone.  Even during the times I feel alone, He is there.  The peace He gives truly is the "peace that passes all understanding".

I often wonder how people who do not know the Lord get through the horrible trials that life tends to sling one's way.  I honestly cannot even imagine how I would cope without God.  I have weak moments where I cry and break down, but He is always there to dry those tears and pick me back up again.  And He always opens my eyes to try and make something beautiful or positive out of the muck that is thrown my way.

No....I am not strong.  God is the strong one...and He lives inside my heart.  He is available to everyone who wants to know Him.  He is a very available God.

God is in Control

In the midst of all that life has to offer (both good and bad), it is important for us to remember that God is in control.  This realization can lead us to ask questions such as "why is God allowing this to happen?" or "how can a good God allow such evil in the world?" 

I am certainly not pretending to know all of the answers and these are questions I have asked myself from time to time, especially during the particularly difficult times.  Often I have looked up to Heaven and said, "Ok, God...come on now!  Give me a break!"

Then I remember....this is the same God who spoke this world into being.  He knit each and every one of us together in our mother's womb.  He gave his only son to come to this earth in human flesh as a living sacrifice for the sins of all mankind.  God LOVES us, and he loves us unconditionally.  He has a perfect plan for each and every one of us.  We may not always understand that plan.  We may question the plan.  But at some point we will see the culmination of that plan....if not on this earth, then in Heaven.

When I look back over my life so far, there have been many times when I have cried out to God in anguish...questioning.  During these times I could never see how anything positive could ever come from what was happening.  But each and every time, God turned pain into promise, turned tears into joy, turned my weakness into strength.

I was the victim of ongoing sexual abuse from the age of 11 to 18.  At times I wanted to die.  Instead I began to read Psalms, and in those words I found comfort.  During this time, I just knew that I was going to use my suffering to help others going through a similar experience one day.  I believe God planted this in my heart, mind, and soul as a means of coping and turning my pain into promise.  As an adult, I was able to do this in working with abused and neglected children as well as homeless pregnant girls.  Had I never experienced such trauma, I don't believe I would have had the understanding to truly be empathetic with these children and their situations.

There have been other instances where I have tried to fix certain situations in my life and failed miserably time after time.  Eventually, I would just "let go and let God"...telling Him he would have to fix it.  And He did...every single time.

Do you trust God with all of the circumstances of your life?  If not, perhaps it is time to try.  He is faithful and His love is without end.

Staying Positive in Negative Times

                        Staying Positive in Negative Times

Staying positive in positive times is easy.  Staying positive in negative times is an entirely different matter, but it can be done.  My key to positivity is God.

Recently I lost my best friend and partner to cancer.  Immediately after, before there was even a memorial service for him, I found out that my dear sweet daughter of 34 years old was diagnosed with a malignant tumor on her brain stem.  The tumor is inoperable due to the delicate area it is located.  The prognosis is poor because the tumor cannot be eliminated.  It is woven amidst important nerves that affect everything from speech to eyesight to movement.  She will receive radiation and chemo to shrink it as much as possible but it will come back.  It ALWAYS come back......so say the doctors.....

BUT

I know that my God is more powerful than any malignant tumor.  With one breath he can completely eliminate it.  When she was a child, he healed her ears right before an operation after we prayed all night.  When she went in for her post op exam, the doctor was amazed.  Her ears were fine with no sign of having had a problem.  He called in miraculous...with no scientific explanation.

Another time He saved her from being hit by a car.  She chased a ball into the street right in front of a car.  I heard the tires squeal, and saw the woman jump out of the car, saying, "If that man had not pulled her out of the way, I would have certainly hit her."  I asked "what man?"  There was nobody else there.  This all happened in a split second.  No human being would have had time to pull my daughter out of the way of the car and leave without being seen.  I have no doubt it was an angel that saved my daughter.

I believe God will save her again this time.  In our weakness, God's strength is revealed.

Do I get down and sad about all that is going on?  Certainly, for I am only human.  But I know that God is always there with me, holding me close.  We are all of his children and his plans for us are good, and His plans are always the best...even if we do not always recognize it at the moment.

So whatever you may be going through in your lives, hold fast to God, the maker of the universe.  He is more powerful than any problem you have going on.  This realization will help you remain positive in negative times.

Making Each Moment Count

Six years ago, my husband of 33 years passed away unexpectedly.  It was the darkest, saddest time of my life.  Even though our marriage was far from perfect, we loved each other very much and I have many wonderful memories of our years together.  Coming from less than perfect families, however, we brought a lot of baggage into our marriage that was not helpful.  We were two wounded people trying to help one another as we struggled through difficult times.  It is hard to help someone else, however...when you have no clue how to help yourself. 

Over the past years, I have done a lot of reflecting on my marriage...the "should haves" and the "could haves"...knowing that the past is the past and there is nothing I can do about any of it now.  I would like to offer this advice to other married couples out there:  MAKE EACH MOMENT COUNT.

Time passes by so quickly.  When you are young, a lifetime can seem so far away, but a lifetime can be shorter than you imagine.  None of us are granted one more day on this earth.  All of those things you dream of doing together "someday"?  Do them now.  Don't wait until tomorrow to express your love.  Do it now.

When my husband died, I found comfort in reading my Bible.  To my surprise, I found that my husband had tucked little love notes within the pages of my Bible.  They were notes of encouragement, romantic notes, notes to make me laugh.  They were tucked in random places in my Bible, just waiting for the day I would open that particular page.  I don't know exactly when he placed the little notes in my Bible...but I cherish them with all of my heart.  I later found that he had not only tucked notes in the one Bible...but in ALL four of my Bibles.  To this day, I have not read all of them.  I am still finding them, and reading them through my smiles and tears.

What my husband did demonstrated love to me.  He took a lot of time to write those little notes and hide them away just so I would be surprised...just so I would be encouraged and feel his love with me. It is important in relationships do go the extra mile and do little things to show how much you care.  Don't waste a moment of this life that is so precious and so fragile.  MAKE EACH MOMENT COUNT.

God is the Answer to the Ache in our Hearts

Mankind is aching.   If you don't believe me, just look around you.  Everywhere people are searching for something to fill that void inside.  For some people it is alcohol or drugs.  For others it can take other forms of addiction such as sex, food, gambling, or video games.  Some people believe that happiness can be found in the perfect relationship,
house, job, or monetary possessions. The thing is, when people finally obtain that which they are searching for, they discover that they are no happier than they were before.  They find that they are chasing the impossible, for nothing on this earth can fill the void inside of our hearts.

Only God can fill this void.  This is one of the reasons that God stresses in the Bible the importance of putting him first in all things...in our money, in our relationships, in our lives.  He isn't being mean when he tells us to put him first in our finances.  He knows we have bills to pay, and God certainly doesn't NEED our money.  Actually, it isn't even our money.  It is God's money.  Everything we have belongs to God and we have it because he has blessed us with it. By paying our tithe to God before we pay anything else, we are showing God that we are trusting Him with our finances. 

When Jesus tells us "Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me"( Matthew 10:37; NIV), He is not being cruel or selfish.  He tells us this because He loves us and He knows that only He can satisfy the longing of our hearts.  When we put Him first in all things, our lives will be more fulfilling because we will be following God's plan for our lives. In Jeremiah 29:11, God says, "For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

By putting God first in our lives, we can set aside all of the empty promises that this world has to offer.  The promises of this world are so easily washed away, leaving us empty.  God's love endures forever.